The path

But what did I do?

It’s the question we usually find ourselves asking, when another acquaintance just distances themselves. there goes one more person you’re not going to see again. The other one that got away. I could write my own bible about lost acquaintances and be a prophet. I re-experienced this again yesterday.

I was supposed to meet her for a drink after work. When I texted her to meet up and I was genuinely excited, but tired. I had spent almost 9 hours in front of a computer screen under fluorescent light crunching numbers. I couldn’t wait to go for a beer and shoot the shit with this gorgeous blonde. Keep reading because I wasn’t nearly as lucky as you might think. It gets fucked up from here. I re-confirmed with her the time of our appointment and she got sketchy. I didn’t expect the follow-up text. It sounded like a familiar but inexplicable phrase from the past. “Why do you wanna hang out with me so bad?”

This was a two-way thing up until that moment. My judgment clouded and I was confused, angry and depressed all at once. The feeling was familiar. I wanted out. I had to numb myself and move on. I needed to move on without reconciling my emotions first. I cut all communications with her and didn’t ask anymore questions. She still wanted to meet but she didn’t feel it so I said no. Took the long way home and was barely listening to the audio-book I had been playing.

I went through my texts and all communications and found no flaws. I made the mistake of not going through with the date and just make it happen. Forget about the petty shit and have a good time. Instead I played out my anger. She reached out and apologized. But I already had made the embarrassing mistake of deleting her from all my social media.

We never talked again. I came to realize the motions I didn’t understand were mine all along.

 

 

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Categories: The path

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