In the past couple of days I’ve had strange dreams and even woke up at night restless. They weren’t nightmares, scary or anything like that. However somehow they managed to induce emotion. It’s the emotion of loneliness. It’s been a while since dreams affected me emotionally.
I do not believe in the meaning of dreams. I do believe that dreams are the only door we have into the subconscious mind. I’ve also come to realize that truth lies in dreams as well. This past couple of days I’ve seen weird dreams about being sidelined from every acquaintance and friend I’ve ever had. I see myself looking at them having fun and partying in different settings. They acknowledge and know me well, but somehow I’m not a part of their celebration. It’s funny, how even in my dreams I’m a loner.
The strangest thing about these dreams is that I feel the need to cry. I feel the need to yell out that I’m left alone. I even see my parents approach me on the side of the road and confront me about my lack of a social life. It’s a heavy emotion that I carry with me even when I wake up later. I’m not surprised though, because it’s also the same emotion that i try to suppress everyday. I’d love to be able to just be honest about my situation, but I know people do not welcome that very well. I wish there were a button I could push and people just accept me as their friend. My dreams are trying to live out what I try to bury every day.
Categories: The path